Fun-knee Ang-lish langv-age

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant 

nor ham in hamburger; 

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or 

French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies 

while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
Or, one goose, 2 geese? So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and 

get rid of all but one of them, 

what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? 

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which, of course, isn't a race at all).

when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.